woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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