nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
