Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize