I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
