I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
