fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
