I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
