3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
