ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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