i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
