I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
