I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
