he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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