ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
