your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
