Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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