Bisexual people are plain selfish.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
