So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
