If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
