My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
