I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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