please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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