i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
