i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
