It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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