His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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