Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
