Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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