she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
