her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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