hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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