I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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