I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
im on a boat
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