consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
