I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize