The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
