she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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