I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
