I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
