I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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