just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
