I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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