theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
