i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
