Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
