You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
