sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
