youre lurking in front of me
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize