Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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