You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize