You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
