i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Let's get the cat blown out
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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