vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
