I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
