Will you blow on my dice?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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