so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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