Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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