she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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