One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
