I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
