I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
