I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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