You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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