Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
