haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
